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Thesis Supervisor Advisor Meanings Joke

Thesis Supervisor Advisor Meanings Joke - Science and Lab Jokes

Thesis Supervisor Advisor Meanings Joke - Post Science and Lab Jokes. Comment on anything science related and funny here!


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  #1  
Old 06-16-2007, 04:28 PM
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Default Thesis Supervisor Advisor Meanings Joke



LANGUAGE USED BY THESIS ADVISORS - Made Simple For Graduate Students


----------------------------------------------

WHAT YOUR ADVISOR SAYS:Look at this as a learning experience
....
WHAT YOUR ADVISOR REALLY MEANS: You're going to suffer



WHAT YOUR ADVISOR SAYS:Let me explain the format of the defense.
....
WHAT YOUR ADVISOR REALLY MEANS: Let me make you even more nervous.




WHAT YOUR ADVISOR SAYS:I'm here to lend you support.
....
WHAT YOUR ADVISOR REALLY MEANS:I'm here to destroy you so you won't look smarter than me.




WHAT YOUR ADVISOR SAYS:I found the overall concept interesting.
....
WHAT YOUR ADVISOR REALLY MEANS:This is my token compliment before ripping your idea to shreds.



WHAT YOUR ADVISOR SAYS:I would like to have had more time to study this.
....
WHAT YOUR ADVISOR REALLY MEANS: I didn't read it.




WHAT YOUR ADVISOR SAYS:I have some concerns about the theory upon which your study is based.
....
WHAT YOUR ADVISOR REALLY MEANS: I hate the theory, but I can't insult the author so I'll insult your work instead.



WHAT YOUR ADVISOR SAYS:There are some aspects of the study that I would like to hear more about.
....
WHAT YOUR ADVISOR REALLY MEANS: I read it but I just don't remember anything about it.




WHAT YOUR ADVISOR SAYS:There are some aspects of the study that I would like to hear more about.
....
WHAT YOUR ADVISOR REALLY MEANS: I read it but I just don't remember anything about it.



WHAT YOUR ADVISOR SAYS:Your hypotheses are not strongly enough linked to the existing literature.
....
WHAT YOUR ADVISOR REALLY MEANS: You came up with an innovative idea and I want to make sure you never do it again.




WHAT YOUR ADVISOR SAYS:Your research is an interesting extension of my own work.
....
WHAT YOUR ADVISOR REALLY MEANS:Why didn't I think of this before you did?




WHAT YOUR ADVISOR SAYS:You have failed to take into account some of the more relevant literature.
....
WHAT YOUR ADVISOR REALLY MEANS:You failed to cite me.



WHAT YOUR ADVISOR SAYS:I would like you to explain...
....
WHAT YOUR ADVISOR REALLY MEANS:I don't know anything about this stuff so you'll have to explain it to me.



WHAT YOUR ADVISOR SAYS:Your statistical results don't seem to support your hypothesis.
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WHAT YOUR ADVISOR REALLY MEANS: I don't understand statistics.




WHAT YOUR ADVISOR SAYS:Your selection of statistical tests is rather simplistic.
....
WHAT YOUR ADVISOR REALLY MEANS: I'm the only one here that understands statistics and I wanted to rub it in.




WHAT YOUR ADVISOR SAYS:How did you ensure that you had drawn a random sample?
....
WHAT YOUR ADVISOR MEANS: I had to come up with at least one question and this one always works.




WHAT YOUR ADVISOR SAYS:This is a great topic for your thesis.
....
WHAT YOUR ADVISOR REALLY MEANS: This is some grunge work that will help me get tenure.




WHAT YOUR ADVISOR SAYS: Your funding is secure.
....
WHAT YOUR ADVISOR REALLY MEANS: Maybe.




WHAT YOUR ADVISOR SAYS: Your funding is probably OK.
....
WHAT YOUR ADVISOR REALLY MEANS: Start worrying.




WHAT YOUR ADVISOR SAYS: I'll see what we can do about funding.
....
WHAT YOUR ADVISOR REALLY MEANS: Start looking for another advisor.



WHAT YOUR ADVISOR SAYS: Let's wrap this up.
....
WHAT YOUR ADVISOR REALLY MEANS: I'm hungry.





WHAT YOUR ADVISOR SAYS: Write another chapter.
....
WHAT YOUR ADVISOR MEANS: Write another chapter.




WHAT YOUR ADVISOR SAYS: Think of this as an investment in skills that will be useful to you in your later career.
....
WHAT YOUR ADVISOR REALLY MEANS: We're going to exploit you to the gills.




WHAT YOUR ADVISOR SAYS: Don't listen to XYZ, just listen to me.
....
WHAT YOUR ADVISOR REALLY MEANS: Both XYZ and I are fools, but I'm funding you.



WHAT YOUR ADVISOR SAYS: You will be ready to write up soon, but need to do just one more experiment/program/chip.
....
WHAT YOUR ADVISOR REALLY MEANS: You have now become a useful slave, and I am not about to let you graduate without doing more footwork for me.




WHAT YOUR ADVISOR SAYS: Could you step out of the room while the committee comes to a decision?
....
WHAT YOUR ADVISOR REALLY MEANS: We decided beforehand to give you your degree, but we still want to make you sweat some more.




WHAT YOUR ADVISOR SAYS: Its been a pleasure having you....
....
WHAT YOUR ADVISOR REALLY MEANS: I loved the free Peon work you did, however you are no longer an asset. Get your stuff off your bench ASAP. Next...

Last edited by moleculardude; 06-16-2007 at 04:47 PM.
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  #2  
Old 04-03-2008, 02:43 AM
Pipette Filler
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Default Re: Thesis Supervisor Advisor Meanings Joke

Ok not the best thread to read before presenting my thesis . eh
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