I had never understood why my supervisor dimmed out (ie was passive) when the post-doc was present. Even those ideas that the postdoc had that were crazy-my supervisor did everything to agree with them. At moments I have seen them as exactly the same person. When problems came with me working with the postdoc - my supervisor did everything to blame me for it. Never did he decide to look at it neutrally or even acknowledge any criticism I had of the post doc-or him.
A wave of hatred has come over me for both of them - A supervisor that seems week, not taking control, not trying to find out what exactly is happening. And the post-doc with which it has never clicked.
The unfairness of a large organization like this is sad. The meeting entitled 'communication' with the big boss there too was very sad. It was totally about how I needed to change. They made communication problems only about me -and of course the supervisor and post-doc -poor guys were just doing there best. What can I say? I want to keep my job. Is being silenced and scape-goat by those in power the price to pay?
Looking back I wondered about the friendship between my supervisor and post-doc. Why does my supervisor lean blindly on the post-doc? why? Surely there must be a reason. Is it that the post-doc has a very very important connection, a connection with someone who is leader of an enormous and influential organization? I had never actually seen it like this before. Suddenly the coin dropped. I understood that the supervisor has his own motivation-his own job, and connections with this important man. -so keeping the post-doc happy and being on his side is important. More important than being a supervisor? I guess so.
This is becoming a bit long. Maybe I don't dislike them- but the things that motivate them: status, power, reputation, position, hierarchy. More important than truth and neutrality. More important than dignity and self-respect? My supervisor and post-doc both have a wife and small children. They need to get and keep a high job position.
Anyway, any advice for me?