happy birthday ( and shit )

happy birthday ( and shit )
+++


it's our nickie's birthday
whole of oz
think's it owns nickie

happy birthday dear

+++

"and shit"

+++

june 20

+++

i cant post th last page out of my psychic blog

can i wiz ?


"no"

"contains secret mens business"



wot about my claims for

wot i premonitioned


i did ride a thumper
that wasnt british


500 single motorcycle


on june seventeen


first ride on girls bike

two wheeled

motorised

in five years man


"there were other things in there too"

i dont wanna write it all again


"so"

love motorcycles but
conflicted

it's a safety bicycle after all and


th council fined me for

ridin a safety bicycle

thru their mall

i ride a ****in mans bike ya cunts


one wheel


no ****in training wheel


pleased to report

no crash



crashing was a big theme

in this here psychic blog

in recent times


unlike my old man
in similar circumstances


killed that bsa man

+++

did we know paulo ?
that th whales gunna get stiffed


in whale no hunting moratorium
yesterday

"seems we took th side of"
"th sharks"

+++


had to keep ourlast page


off th net


it contains


secrets from th future that

humanity not quite ready for


i prepared to state
bold as

that humanity leaves earth

by burning


water



not prepared to

tell you th bad news

+++

..
..
..

wot happened to you paulo ?

thought you ducked to newsagent for

net access


"shit a thermostat"
"and top hose on th radiator"

"in th falcon"


all good now ?


"they gave me th wrong hose so i cut and shut"
"and we put new one on tomorrow"


cool as



"hopefully"

+++


i pay fr not tellin you

+++

"pack me a bong dear"

+++
nicole kidman and some guy
'come what may'
+++

happy birthday ( and shit )

+++

i ran to supercheap

much as i hate th place

and yes

they did ****up my order


is th closest car spares joint

+++

made it with

minutes to spare and
little brother pulled it apart while i


land rovered to supercheap

+++

paulo hopes yur
weekend goes off as planned


i'm not as
happy for ya

jeannette whinging


take care little one


johnny howard on th telly just before

sayin how patient he was


+++
kylie minogue
'chocolate'
+++


will i replace
nickie kidman with kylei ?

+-++

something i want
but cant have

that keeps me single

+++


dom's back in town paulie
"cums back tomorrow"

invited me to his latest gig

+++

now i'm gunna be screwed up again

+++


i'm not a girl

i think

+++

twin brother of mine
that shares my head

help me

+++

he's ****ed off

fillin th hashpipe


scuse i

..
..
..

who's already built it ?

[proscribed]

..
..
..

"nice try"

+++

watchin
mythbusters last night

on th telly


she made a fire

by focusing sunlight


thru a ball

of ice



can make fire from water

hey water fire

+++

"well at least oen way'

+++
queen
'i want to ride my bicycle'
+++

it's rainin unicycle
behave yurself

+++

besides

already got blisters

nice ride yesterday

+++

for every

action

there's an

equal

and opposite

reaction

+++

kuta is a cool religion

+++

i put out fires with water

+++
do re mi
'after the volcano'
+++


still playin with magic

practical magic as it happens

+++

testin theories by

is th magic still workin


did i write

somethin relevant


before th next song played

so that windows


seems intelligent

+++

i'm developing a psychic way
to find

truth

+++

[deleted]

+++

i wanna talk about it kuta

[proscribed]

"ya cant babe"

+++



bugger

i found a secret


+++

while we explain that explosion - lyric

+++


"u stay out of it windows"

+++
kraftwerk
'it's more fun to compute'
+++

cop this turing

+++

i could write a program that

spits words


randomly

and self inserts them into notepad


but i liek music and

synchronicity
works with everything

+++

i'm gettin positives on this thing paulo
it's ****in hideous

"there's a BAD side to everything dear"
"balance"

+++

****it

+++

wont it have peaceful purposes ?

"let it go"

+++

..
..
..


ok man
ya said


it aint england


not if ya follow th back trail


"well"
"england didnt make a thumper motorcycle"
"for th bush"

a trail bike

"how th xt is described"



but i got th date

june 17 liek six months ago

"and held it"


"i rode bikes for fifteen years dear"

+++
nirvana
'something in the way'
+++

yeah


carvin up th road

+++

last thing i rode was a yamaha too

mik's custom

+++

"gotta be five years"

+++

top song in th list
in media player

right now is

god put a smile upon your face




well little brother did





gave it welly
goin round ht block and


no probs


th yopung nephew
nto seen me or

little brother

his dad


hoonin on motorbikes


we owned a coupel together and


a coupel sidecars together and


used to dirt bike together

in th bush

back of th farm

yur grandad


hadnt ridden in a whiel and

huge crash



on is first ride in years

+++
arlo guthrie
'i'm goin home'
+++


should go visit rohan

and ask for a spin

+++

"u not ready for a superbike"

is th 1300 runnin ?


"dunno"

+++

the motorcycle song is better arlo
"of a theme"

+++

th girl next door

never seen me on a biek before

i pull in th drive and



no way man

i got two in th back yard


didnt own a car for fifteen years


got two at th moment


carryin unicycles ya see

+++


"mad mountain unicycle"

+++

do i wanna **** my back and

ride another sidecar

"put on leading link front end"

"like power steering"

+++


chick at supercheap


had coolin problems too


just other day

shit a water pump

+++
the verve
'space and time'
+++

multiple redundant components


th rocket HAS to fire

+++

i can see th
water injector


and hydrgen burning with oxygen

to fire it but


paulo thinks

bubbly water is


with CO2



not with oxygen


i dont get it

"i smell hydrocarbons"


+++

how can ya smell hydrocarbons
when ya sniffin around in th future

+++

i dont get it paulo

premonitions


real premonitions


come 100%

WRONG


for every action
there's an equal and opposite reaction

+++


i say
paul mc cartney gunna die ina newsgroup

on a certain date


****in dateline

one day out


"watched th wrong news"

maybe



he gets up and



says he havin new life

gunna have another kid


hmm

+++


penn and teller paulo
"****em"



i did have

psychic blog dummy spit

BEFORE

hearin of

and watchin


their
BULLSHIT

special


last week


+++

"cunt"

+++

paulo
he just not

smart enough to understand

action reaction


"cunt"

+++
violent femmes
'old mother reagan'
+++


reagan was a cunt

+++
scribe
'not many'(remix)
+++

can i go after em ?

"wot, penn and teller ?"


sceptics in general

"why ?"


rather point th bone of death at em

than claim their


psychic prize

"dont liek their rules hey ?"

dont liek any rules


i break rules of universe

i'm psychic
dont need to prove to


****head sceptic


just want sceptic


SILENCED

forever



+++

if i was after money
i woulda fronted dom and his ilk

for cash
for singin


on street corners
in th fortitude valley and surfers paradise

i dont
not even for a fitty i've seen thrown in th hat

+++

in th city th other night
on th unicycle


a guy
tryin to stop me on th unicycle

he wants a trick
offerin me twenty dollars to stop

he was so sure of imself
that i would stop


didnt but

+++
george
'bastard son'
+++


i ask you young man

if rock n roll george

would of stopped

+++

rock n roll paulo

barely blinked

+++

i wanna message im black

"tomorrow"

+++


i enjoyed his birthday party

"i was there"


briefly

+++

i got drugs and


six bourbons inside me and


i'm not here for you cunt

+++

nother bod
wanted to know

where i bought my

shark fin
wizard hat

+++


he didnt get any answer

at all

+++

had like
i dunno

ten maybe



ppl call me


the man



th othe rnight


made ht msitake of

extreme unicyclin inth city and

didnt take any music


mp3 player sittin on my bed at home

+++

but

for a saturday night


i
+++
the offspring
'feelings'
+++


i rode in th city and

didn go to th fortitude valley


its a first paulie
"who's cumin hoem this week?"


dom
"where ya sing with dom"


in th city
edward street


"<<<smile >>>"




"if i check back in diary"
"dont find city ride after midnight"
"in several years"

"if in town"


cause i'd land in th valley and

sing there right ?

"yeah"


ok

+++

very happy to hear yur home dude

cant wait to sing with ya

+++

"jenny not been singin much lately"

+++
tenacious d
'city hall'
+++


cunts

fined me for

ridin a ****in girls bike


a bicycle





****in safety bicycles



****in safety bicycles


****in safety bicycles



safety will not take us to th stars


work place health and safety have

nothing

to do with


exiting planet earth


+++

settin ****in fires - lyric

+++

"why ya not been singin hey"

fined ya bit over two weeks ago


still seething

"it's raining"


<<<smiel >>>

+++


"gift's firing nicely"

+++

had th money
to fix th car


it boiled
drivin form woolies to home


oh


hey paulo

guess where it died ?


"in th driveway"

+++

chrissie just messaged

"one of th kuta lady's"

yes


she got magic man


"dont message er straight back"

k

+++

noticed i been missin have ya ?

+++

she's too old
she doesnt fill th prophecy

+++

"paulo's got his eyes closed dear"
"had other concerns"

+++

or put simply

th unicycle


"and motorcycles"

cum before you

+++


yr so shitty at er

"she's just you8ng"


leave th ****in mistake
what did ya teach me >?

+++

damn

+++

does she know about jeannette ?

"keh"

paulo dont be a cunt



does she know i'm pregnant ?

+++
blue oyster cult
'dont fear the reaper'
+++


"opposites ya dead cunt"

+++


"and it's we're pregnant identical sister"

+++

"i dunno"
she does

+++

she thinks jennifer th mother

+++

"i dont see that"

+++


"why would i leave my daughter"
"with a woman i cant sit in th same room with?"

u left yur son with one

+++


"she doesnt see it that way"
she's an idiot

"true but **** is she magic or what"

+++

yur mother could feel me
when i came


specially if i was
wasnt thinkin about her


th phone would ring or

more likely she'd just


walk thru th door

"bitching"

+++


it affected her physically
she tryin to have an illicit affair and
her boyfriend

masturbating and she

drippin on kitchen floor


talkin to husband at table


five kilometres away


bothered th **** out of her paulie

+++
nirvana
'pennyroyal tea'
+++

and lyin
when ya cum over and


yr marriage all finished
lyin to a psychic

+++


i could feel you cum too ya dumb bitch

+++

was extra hard when


we broke up



dont mind my exes ****in liek rabbits

expect it


had moren fifty after all


do mind feelin em cum





th bitch is at it again

+++

sendin on our personal mode and

all hate

+++

i dont feel you cum anymore elizabeth




either


you aint gettin any good sex or

our bond has dissolved enough


i'm free again

+++
gorillaz
'dare'
+++

look dude
if i'd slept with ya

you;d have th wizard's curse
and by th fourth relationship with me you;d

be really cut

+++

morticia still rings

+++

mellow out kuta lady

+++

"she wants to talk"

+++

i dont

+++

"why"
"may i ask ?"

+++

it's a boy

"be truthful"


two boys

muso's

+++
tenacious d
'kyle quit the band'
+++

yeah penn and teller


psychic is pure
100%


BULLSHIT

+++


"th sceptic say"

"you just put song titles in narrative"

+++


what are we gunna do with all th cash, smoke hash- lyric

+++


<<<smiel >>>


yeah i can


do low level system programming in windows

+++
nirvana
'stay away'
+++


it's turgid

+++


my point was


i smoke drugs and

my memory is crap

i couldnt think of th ****in song titles if i tried

+++


for every action
there's an equal and opposite reaction

+++

i remember th past
about as good as i remember th future

fairly badly
and occasionally

somethin really clear

+++

why i'm a background singer

i sing notes more than


words

+++

sang with
jess's guitar th other week

"jess playin it dear"
i stand corrected


lovely noises

"but he plays in th fortitude valley and"



he's started singing

quiet but he's singing

+++
the velvet underground and nico
'venus in furs'
+++

how long jess been playin street corners now paulo ?

"he done his apprenticeship"


mika was kickin
i sing to jess now


same as

+++

oh um

i saw um


**** man

wot's yur ****in name ?


..
..
..


"dan"

thanks paulo

"yur welcome"


i saw dan
in a car
last week


lovely finger work

"**** that sis"
"he got a great voice"

+++

just noticed

somethin stupid

was next track after this one



but um

we started this page on a nickie kidman song and



i dunno

you got enough magic to ?



pop up again


befor ei get sick of writing


or it end sitself

sems to write itselg



itself

+++

"i'm bettin we'll see another kylei track"

+++
mik
'blues revenge'
+++

we just got a letter, wonder who it's from, BOOM -lyric

+++
the black eyed peas
'fly away'
+++

<<<smiel >>>

+++

"and it wasnt a letter"

she didnt give that interview

according to media watch last night


they bastards hey kylie

+++

a whale


swam into

broadwater yesterday

down surfers paradise way

+++


"twice now"

+++


seem liek response to whaling vote yesterday ?

+++

"was a big bugger"

+++
powderfinger
'stumblin'
+++


not much room in th channel for a

big whale

+++

we got flash mr whale

of problem in whales world



when we wrote page called 'space shark'

a week ago


as usual
i get news

a week in advance
just cryptic is all


+++

sharks very ****in happy

+++

sharkie

+++


look man

+++

scus ei

..
..
..


i'm puttin this on you paulo


you said



to me

not on net


in private diary

whales have to make
an effort to

communicate

"i wrote also"

"we all get big surprise when big SHARK"

"come out of deeps"


psychic blog kickin

in psychic blog

shark and dolphin

same as

dog cat


relationship


need each other



for evolution

+++
city high
'why'
+++

**** th sharks are amused

were skiting in my psychic blog

a week ago

+++

paulo had this

hundred foot shark
with fifteen feet wide jaws

flyin thru space with him
as a pilot


not takin ****in whales
too hard to look after


cause they breathe air
and have to surface

th big shark
doesnt have to

surface

+++

i'll need much proof mr whale

from you and yur brethren


sharks i'm comfortable with


i understand i'm supposed to be

impartial

+++
the offspring
'walla walla'
+++

i expect as much proof from you
as i expect from me

my magic has to
constantly display itself


to me

+++


i am never satisfied

+++

the offsproing hey
i promised

in this psychic blog

last week


i'd drop whales and sharks

on same ocean world



yr whole chain as i recall


includes blue whales and pilot whales and such


until we came along

humanity that is



th sharks and th whales


were about even

+++

i mean
th orca is a shark

+++
bjork
'violently happy'
+++


but it's gotta surface
and we sit

and wait

+++

to shoot it


funny hting is

always two ways to do things


shoot it with a camera
shoot it with a harpoon

+++


kangaroos in australia
if we didnt cull

we couldnt farm


cows


and


sheep



kangaroos
outnumber ppl
in australia

still

+++

so we're in two minds black
how unusual

+++

a staff member
in th restaurant i ran


asked me
how can ya think of

seven things at once

+++

"i wonder"

+++

if we're gunna

start killin whales again


we gotta open sharks back up to

bein hunted


fair's fair

+++
machine gun fellatio
'my ex-girlfriends boyfriends got a band'
+++

"u gone dolphin on em jenny ?"

my bath towel does have ten dolphins on it paulo

+++


oh and he does have a band

he's in a new one

+++

"purples boyfriend"

+++

they;re married

+++


i want more proof mr whale

if you wanna be considered

sentient


****in prove it

+++


me and paulo considerin
for awek or more


wot we gunna call sentient when we rock up
and

rape other planets

+++
nirvana
'on a plain'
+++

on a rocket i think

"on an alluvial plain"

"full of critters"

+++

<<< smile >>>

+++


cunt

+++


"which one ?"

penn and teller

+++

where do we draw th ****ing line ?

+++

wot is a sentient being
and wot is food

+++

if we use
water fire

to go to th stars
find other blue planets like gems and


colonise
we kill


many many many species

+++


"and if we dont ?"

we starve in our agar dish and


die

+++
train
'drops of jupiter'
+++


groovy

+++

wanna stay in a hotel

floatin in space


with th best view of

jupiter


and **** something that's not blonde

+++


so

dear and gentle reader




so ya beat up parrots

who ****in cares


indoor budge hunting is a lifestyle

not a hobbie


do we consider

windows to be sentient



cause in this conversation with windows

[windows media player playin random music in th background]



window seems to be makin intelligent

responses


+++


hey mr turing

my computer


can talk like a human

just in song titles generally


dont mean it;s got any brains at all
if wot it's talkin to is

psychic


+++
nirvana
'come as you are'
+++

i train my gift

and it looks after me

+++


i usually

pn;y have two drinks if i'm
gunna drive thru a

random breath testing station

th one time i dont

i drnak like nine


way over and

they parked me and forgot me and


drove all th gear away before

realisin th kadaitcha man is still


parked in front of all th police cars
with an alien skull

in th back window

th car half full of unicycles




gave me my license back and

sent me on my way


+++

funny cops

+++

i had a self clearance certificate

yes officer
i ahve chanegd ht tyre on my truck


+++
U2
'bad'
+++

havent really
it;s parked aroudn th corner

came into th pigshop

on a unicycle

+++

young cop gets smartarse

says i need th vehicle

so he can inspect it


form says clearly
something contrary


he goes asking other cops


rings town

for confrimation and


finalyl gets thru and


all th power goes out

in th pigshop


poor police station



all th computers go belly up


all unsaved work goes




down gurgler


hard not to crack a smiel

there at th counter



stare at my unicycle
parked outside door and


thinkin
never judge a book by it;s cover


"ya pig cunt"

+++


got th last laugh in that encounter

+++


singin with some guy
in queen street mall and i


went over th edge

jenny in me


grabbed th main trace and


sing so high



a guy walks up
puts a handfull of marijuana in my hand and


here have this man
good heads too

half a fistfull

got no baggie and


he wont take it back

no way


ok alright

you smoek dude ?



ah cool

all mine then



gota make trip to car

put it in a baggie and

drink my last bourbon and

i come back ok

+++
kevin bloody wilson
'i gave up wanking'
+++


yeah right


aussie larriken kev

+++


jump on unciycle and
happy as


crash into police car


ridin thru th bus stops


he stationary
well



jsut parked at kerb



nabs me and

dragged into copshop


which is

right htere

know what i mean

we outside police beat in city


i got old motrocycle helmet on
from when iw as

vice president of motorcycle club



helmets got

huge dop leaf on side and



donald duck catchin lightning bolt

mushies drawn in lid and


nasty words



one percenter lid



they read my record
they look at lid

but never search me

dont charge me

hey i;'m th town clown


i jump back on uni and


tool bakc to car

nice adventure


another thing to
writ ein my diary that

nobody coudl possibly believe



"cept me"

+++
tatu
'all the things you said'
+++

as mcuh as i dislike
country and western

i respect music

+++

and ya come from twenty k's down th road


if i cant have er
this go around

i can be happy for you

+++

"i thought you never gunna"

i changed my mind

+++
the black eyed peas
'hey mama'
+++

hey look windows is psychic

it read my mind

+++


we gotta birth jeannette

"conceive"


said andrews name at conception

i parent backwards

+++


raised teenagers first

huge party house



then later in life

i raised early teens


and then andrew from birth

"from a bit before"


"you gave me hard time young man"

"not as fussy as yur little sister though"


+++

ya know kuta lady's th
strongest witch we know current

+++
kylie minogue
'someday'
+++


"i win"
more kylei songs in th computer
only three of nickie

"hmmm"

+++

jeannette not fussed on
actress who play witch

rather be born from real
redhead witch femjack

+++

we got to jane too late

we got to sabrina too late


morticia got hit up th arse with a shovel

terrified she get jeannette


"she got speyed"
"jenny bein a bitch"

"i make coffee yes"


..
..
..

"morticia was my girlfriend"
"jane was yours"

which actually worked
for a little while

+++

coffee...

+++
the who
'magic bus'
+++

"u bailin on nickie treatment"
i still think if yu read her diary
you;d read magic

+++
U2
'sunday bloody sunday'
+++

"then why you rowing so hard ?"

life's long
and wot's meant to be

is

+++

saw

umm


bloody drugs



richard e grant

on enough rope
last night


likened a diary to a third eye


and talked about truth

+++

if ya write truth
in yur diary

ya see truth
when ya read between th lines

+++

"congratulations on snaring a man who"

"wont be referred to as"

"mr kidman"

he already has

bitch said he was background in th orient

+++

"now who's bein a bitch"

+++
do re mi
'man overboard'(remix)
+++


ok

+++

i'ma big enough kid
wouldnt bother me

+++

have got a puberty blues problem that wont

go away



blue balls

every day
a
chin nuts

+++

bein with a woman
i aint ****in

makes it worse
it's just a wizard's curse

+++


yin and yang

i deserve a curse

i got a huge gift

+++


"settle down jeannette"

+++


little jenny squeelin

"too much red dwarf episode for my liking"


+++

jeannette broke th laws of space and time
to bring us that

childrens picture book
how do things work


from eleven years from now

+++


it cost me some
considerable energy too paulo

+++

"i can see how th"
"rocket motor feeds itself"


"with water at"
"th right temperature and"

"it;s got bubbles in it"

+++
lo-tel
'teenager of the year'
+++


if they were handin out
teenager of th year


would they get
somethin bubbly to drink ?

+++


yeah man
psychic is bullshit

+++

everything
can be seen


at least two ways

+++

th reader of text
supplies their own inner voice

timing
phrasing and

inflection

not to mention


outright interpretation

+++

you can start a fire with water

ya just have to freeze it into a ball first


umm

"hmm"


"last week u said"

"we make fire with frozen water"



"hmmm"


+++
pirate jenny
'wheel tail monkey'
+++

i'll bet ya
it;s got somethin to do with


crystal clear ice

+++

wahat do they call it paulo ?

leastic an ask ya in here

i nlife is


difficltu


difficult


+++

all th atoms are arranged

and aligned

+++

if it is
co2 paulo


and not oxygen

where we get it


on shipboard

"ppl and plants"


"turn th lights off"


not grow like spack marijauana crop

over sunlighted


"does funny things to th dope"

"wot's wrong with replicating nature ?"

+++
frigidaires
'nowhere man'
+++

ya ****head

clonin yur plants and


yur marijuana is

not evolving


cant fight it's enemies

+++


i'm coppin flack

+++

we commiting fratricide

+++

killin th god drug plant with

no feel whatsoever

+++

i'm not payin th fine
ya can get ****ed

+++
nirvana
'lake of fire'
+++

try it cunt

+++

my twin brother and i
are mighty wizards

real
death dealing

magic

+++

"u changed yur mental signature didnt ya ?"

yeah

i surf th void with a different te now

"wot's yur latest ?"


a falcon

+++

i want his mighty eyes in space paulie

+++
nirvana
'polly'
+++


that was wot th ****in parrot was for
on th pirate ship


his eyes

+++


ah man

i deserve a cone

..
..
..


we train
bird's of prey and

we use their eyes
in space

a trained parrot on th bridge
"magpie's talk better"


yeah but i know a white cockatoo buggin it's owners
"little brother gave his away"

"i'll make some quiet enquiries"

+++
icehouse
'love in motion'(with chrissie amphlett)
+++

where's th ship's cat

read thousands of

science fiction books



where are humanity's helpers ?

+++


we drop into a sea

on an alien world


that we think
doesnt have a machine culture

or intelligent life


a dolphin and a shark


would be mighty fine companions

+++

a bird that

was born in space


in freefall

used to shipboard life and


really really good eyes

better than our eyes


if we die

th bird dies


survival

+++

train a hunting bird

to spot planets


not everythin shows on radar and

th wise explorer

doesnt emit anything

+++
bugger


across th universe


song

second from top


lost in hard drive crash

+++
pj harvey
'send his love to me'
+++

i send no signals into th void

entering a strange system i


creep in

liek a rat


hiding behind cover and

a bit like a terrestrial submarine


cept not quite as blind

+++

th birds tell me
where to find land


"and fish"

+++

life is a
constant battle of survival

+++

our society become so soft



a vehicle that demands respect

it travels on one wheel


balanced perfectly

just forward of th centreline



is a
safety bicycle


under th transport regulations of

queensland australia

+++


they make you
wear a helemt to
pee standing up

next

+++
arlo guthrie
'highway in the wind'
+++

first words of song are



sail with me into th unknown void that has no end


+++


some of us will die
out there


same as

soem of us die
under a car's wheels

only a couple of weeks since
i got run over by a car

whiel ridin on one wheel

some of us
always die

+++

entertain us
whiel we gobble up all th food

and use up th land instead of


facing facts


out ther eis unlimited

resources

for us to plunder



down here is


arguin over price of oil

+++
the offspring
'pretty fly'(for a white guy)
+++


black gold


+++


it's all bullshit right

+++

th yanks put
spaceships

occasionally

up in th sky

with hydrogen and oxygen

in liquid form

+++
city high
'you dont know me'
+++



water is just

hydrogen and oxygen

there's gotta bee


a way
to just


crack it

+++

"i still smell hydrocarbons"
maybe cause there none burnin in future

+++

tell me again paulo

it gotta be


solution
allows you to just


pick up salt water from an alien sea


and ship self sufficent in other forms of it's fuel


i see loopback tunnel in drive


drive piggy backing itself



+++

"like a superheterodyne"

+++
kylie minogue
'promises'
+++

dont know if i;m gunna touch that

+++

more like a turbocharger i think

+++

we see same image
interpret different

is it oxygen bubbles or
co2 or

both


i know i need more oxidiser

paulo said we wouldnt

+++

why does he wanna put nitrogen in th mix paulo > ?

"it;d be available"

+++


big yellow taxi

top song in list

+++
do re mi
'track 12'
+++

everything goes in th drive doesnt it ?

"everything burns"




i see more like steam boiler than
rocket motor

large exhaust vent terminate in
rocket exhaust

+++

my ford falcon car makin steam this arv

tiny four k drive


boilin like crazy

+++
butthole surfers
'pepper'
+++


no man

not pepper in th radiator needed but

nice try


he busted tophose takin it off


and thermostat


solid seized

+++

wide shut

+++

wouldnt let any water into th radiator

+++

just gettin hotter and hotter

+++


hey man
my 99%


my car breaks down in my driveway
still battin a thousand

+++

i liek to be near th coffee

so i can be mellow

whiel we


open tool cupboard and



start diagnosin with th full workshop


handy




its wot ya do when yur magic

+++


i figured no water gettin thru that hose too


didnt think it had a thermostat


always ran cool

+++
violent femmes
'intro'
+++
nirvana
'in bloom'
+++


ya go liek stink
ex taxi motor

when ya run a bit hotter
got two xf falcons in th driveway

one's
expendable

+++

well you got a muscle car on th drive man

+++

still raining

but gentle



is nice

we aint seen much

+++

in one week
i had a car crash
a car ran over me on th unicycle
and th wheelbarrow i was pushin
full of cement

blew it's tyre and wheel under me


but it's all good now

-

kutaman


+++
nirvana
'lounge act'
+++

hmm

i was tryin to compose an sms message to chrissie

+++

gunna keep er guessin for a bit

+++


alright
monoshock unicycle

"prototyoe"

just cause ya faceplanted me

+++
nickelback
'leader of men'
+++

"oh she of th big arse"
made of metal
steel back

yur too ****in heavy

+++

"and semi lethal"

+++

gotta chop up a

3000 dollar bicycle


and give it a sexchange

stead of a hundred and fifty dollar one


then we got a wicked toy

+++

"skatebowl on standby"

+++

i aint jumpin that thing

grabbed my jeans leg and

faceplant into th bitumen

+++

i've ridden it since

ya gotta


it;s in disgrace

sittin in th rain


+++

too loose and
too much

prototype

+++
garbage
'androgyny'
+++

"about wot i was thinkin jenny"

+++

'garbage"

'chucks but beautiful slides"


'undertyred to buggery"

'still got kids bike tyre"

+++

but we rode it thru town


test flight



thru th middle of the fortitude valley


at midnight


in reality

+++

jumpin a gutter
on a suspension unicycle

"monoshock"
is liek ridin out th driveway

on a stock uni

+++

i've got more than one hobby

+++

"i've got more than one lifestyle"

+++


wanna go surfers paradise this weekend and play millionaire ?

+++
violent femmes
'i held her in my arms'
+++

i asked ya a question 009

"will th rain have left ?"


i dint catch th forecast

"hmm"


'winter"
'no shirt"

"foot deep in th surf on a two foot unicycle"

we take th 26 inch


'low tide"
'good music"
'mp3 player"

'some drugs alcohol and"

dancin on th wheel

'surfing on th wheel"



fun either way brother

+++
Ludwig van Beethoven
'Symphony No. 9' (Scherzo)
+++


told ya brother

+++
kevin bloody wilson
'arr ****'(the instrumental)
+++

they wouldnt go with 008

+++

"tht;s th way jen"
"cloud it with lots of crap"

+++
powderfinger
'rockin rocks'
+++

cmon paulie
i tryin to land htngs on

boundaries


"like singin background hey ?"


exactly

+++


knowin where th changes are
when even th guy playin th piece
doesnt


yet

+++


mika was


fun

+++

th song of th dancing changes

+++

jess and i one night

both floored


twenty changes in a row and

he and i both



fell off

**** im



thats enough


i was


it;s too pretty

i'm gunna shit in it

+++

th trio vibe fell off and

we lost balance

+++
machine gun fellatio
'all of them ladies'
+++

<<<smiel >>>

+++


ok i had an audience


girls and a guy


on th bus seat opposite


and walkin crwod

and


jess




he was pullin changes out of is arse

and we

complimenting them


landing our changes in


harmonies and
th odd dischord


acapella drum
and note beats

with a little repetition

old drummers trick
i ****ed up


i'll just

do it again and


then wander somewhere else

+++

ah man dom
**** it;s good to hear form you


nah leave ht spellin mistake

ya sent me a form text ya cunt

+++

"but he's forgiven you"

+++

those chicks man

**** she was pissed off

+++
vanessa amorosi
'shine'
+++

ah man
i get taken more for a girl when i got a beard

than when i dont





chick last week just

amazed she couldnt find any tits


finally clocked th face and


ah well

+++

**** th uncicyle was dancin nicely

thisn's willful

+++

goes crazy eddie



just




hangs a left



whenever th **** it feels liek it



had this endo int h queen street mall

last saturday night

fine me again ya cunts



i'm ppl too

ncie lady concerned for my health


i was umm

all part of th fun





cant ride a unicycle without crashin


part of th fun

+++

th crowd liek a psectacualr crash

to do it honest takes eight bourbons and four cones


i liek doin things honest

it ;s just as easy

+++
frank black
'superabound'
+++


black

hey that's you paulo

i'm resetting

+++
laurie anderson
'sharkeys night'
+++

oops
somehow we're in
favorites

stea dof all music

th magic still works


mostly

+++
the red hot chilli peppers
'breaking the girl'
+++


were ya thinkin of feedin me tonight paulie ?

"no"


hmm

+++


i'll go on strike

"it;d just give me a chance to talk"


oops
bumped th insert button/key


switched th mute on in th mixer

all sound in th computer died

+++

ah

turn's it back on too


"yeah but ya gotta remember it"

dig it


+++
david byrne
'like humans do'(radio edit)
+++

learned how to laugh,learned how to cry-lyric

+++

it's a neat trick

when it works


wot makes it happen ?

****ed if i know

+++

"or care"

does yur physics allow for it ?

+++


cunts


****in cunts


"jen"


take piss out of psychic


i take piss out of you

+++


got me agatated days beforehand
at sceptics and

was advertised in my tv guide as survivor
reunion

on tonight


not last week and


i hear little brother palyin


penn and teller


keh

i take a look


hmmm

+++
easy star all stars
'run'
+++

was playin and

not in my tv guide

but i caught yur show all th same

titled


bullshit

+++

i'm not a psychic for money

i'm a psychic for scaring th living piss out of ppl

i'm a clown

+++


i dunno penn and teller

according to th rules


i got a quarter of a million

confirmed kills


as a kadaitcha man

+++
machine gun fellatio
'rollercoaster'
+++

us lethal kadaitcha men get
toey

and bein mostly human
we take it out on


innocents mostly
well anyone who pisses ya off

i can kill you
and make yup the reason later


pointing th bone of death
and singin it;s instructions


can take up th whoel of th seven days

+++
tenacious d
'wonderboy'
+++

hardly
just one of my tribe

+++

average australian male

i know an all white kadaithca man

he's got two confirmed kills


+++

it's th magic of th land of oz

not th magic of th skin colour

+++


otherwise
a half dutch boy liek me
wouldnt get th powers

+++

kuta lady is troubled by her powers
"i know"

+++

she's impatient though

"she'll get over it"

+++

ya cant


just point th bone and expect

yur gunna whack


fifty thousand ppl

on th first try


i mean come on


it;s magic

it doesnt cum in a pill

+++
gorillaz
'feels good'
+++


well mostly

+++

sorry
i'm reading th future


rude of me

+++

it's times liek these i miss my
v four motorcycle and

two hundred and something odd
kilometres an hour

centres th mind
even if it is a safety bicycle

at heart

+++
urge overkill
'girl you'll be a woman soon'
+++

girls bike

+++

**** this guy was cut th other night
i'm ridin down edward street and he

not likin me callin his motorcycle a
girls bike


it ****in is

+++

take every ounce of

th mungrel i used to be and



cop this withering stare cunt

+++

only crazy eddie would

in th middle of a drought

with level three water restrictions


be screaming to th heavens

i got it

we gotta burn water


to get off th earth


anything is possible

i know
anything is possible

..
..
..

crazy eddie

[pirate jenny and "the land surfer"]
+++
p.s.

powderfinger
'day you come'

+++
do re mi
'racing to zero'
+++


just about there

+++



****in frizz

+++

washed my hair and

little brother still on phone


all th way thru survivor


**** man

+++

dom's back in town

kuta lady's talkin again

+++

i missed something

"we grabn it second pass"

+++
smashing pumpkins
'1979'
+++

u dont publish second and third passes thru
th page anymore

"get too much information"

+++

musta missed th pass

+++

dropped th pumpkin

+++

a word game
if played properly


and with truth
that will enhance your

psychic gifts

+++

th diarisers

+++

i did soemthing today

even if i didnt do something today


i mean really

i wasnt really on two rooves today


in th howling wind and rain

pushin


three odd thousand

pounds per square inch of water pressure


down a dirty roof

to clean it


+++

"i did get a toecutter though"
"dropped a broken tile on my toe"

"just took th edge"

+++
kylie minogue
'chocolate'
+++

otherwise she'd be fat right

+++


stead of havin a cute bum

+++

hate to think i
dropped a rooftile on my foot

just to have that

weak joke


such is reality

+++

i'm obstreperous today

i wont return messages

+++
jet
'look what you've done'
+++

yeah


what i dont liek about me

i'm a cunt

+++

i dont read comment or
complaint or

give a ****

+++

th parrot
always a


prop
on th pirate ship captain's shoulder


sees and smells land
before man

"or woman"

+++

but wot about if yur psychic paulo
do we need th extra

rations to feed to th pets
"u get everything right do ya ?"

psychic not omnipotent

go and get ****ed

+++

penn and teller

+++
robin ford
'prison of love'
+++


more of th opposites hey

+++

not love i'm feelin right now



RAGE

+++

out ****ing rage

it's not th same without the
****ing

+++


like

ka boom and


ka ****ing boom



totally different

+++

liek to take all th pain and suffering

my poor testicles copped


last june

whiel tryin to warn some dumb ****ers


u got a problem comin

and give it to ya in one


installment

+++

cricket bat in th arse

wedge end first i think

+++


"take a fourteen pound sledge hammer to"
"bash a cricket bat up that fat cunts arse"

so

+++

wot's yur point cockhead ?

+++

"dont have one"

"it's a blunt instrument"

+++
d12
'purple hills'
+++


i guess


ya take a couple of them

purple hills and


yur mind is a blunt instrument

+++

"i dunno"
"a d12 is a bulldozer"

+++

hmm

+++

"****in big bulldozer"

"blunt as"

+++

i sat there

waitin for

windows to get it's head together

it couldnt find th next song


hunting on th disk for th next track


waiting is



i'm tryin to get th name of th song

i';ve got th clue


and silence emenating from th computer


but i dont

get

d12 [bulldozer]

from

it's a blunt instrument

+++

maybe how my mind
associates

D12

dirty big caterpillar

crawler tractor


bulldozer

+++
black eyed peas
'my humps'
+++


just um

bulldoze those humps over there and


set up th fatapult facing th


shark net


+++

enough

..
..
..


do re mi
'man overboard'(remix)