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happy birthday ( and shit )

happy birthday ( and shit ) - Physics Forum

happy birthday ( and shit ) - Physics Forum. Discuss and ask physics questions, kinematics and other physics problems.

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Old 06-20-2006, 01:19 PM
crazy eddie
Posts: n/a
Default happy birthday ( and shit )

happy birthday ( and shit )

it's our nickie's birthday
whole of oz
think's it owns nickie

happy birthday dear


"and shit"


june 20


i cant post th last page out of my psychic blog

can i wiz ?


"contains secret mens business"

wot about my claims for

wot i premonitioned

i did ride a thumper
that wasnt british

500 single motorcycle

on june seventeen

first ride on girls bike

two wheeled


in five years man

"there were other things in there too"

i dont wanna write it all again


love motorcycles but

it's a safety bicycle after all and

th council fined me for

ridin a safety bicycle

thru their mall

i ride a ****in mans bike ya cunts

one wheel

no ****in training wheel

pleased to report

no crash

crashing was a big theme

in this here psychic blog

in recent times

unlike my old man
in similar circumstances

killed that bsa man


did we know paulo ?
that th whales gunna get stiffed

in whale no hunting moratorium

"seems we took th side of"
"th sharks"


had to keep ourlast page

off th net

it contains

secrets from th future that

humanity not quite ready for

i prepared to state
bold as

that humanity leaves earth

by burning


not prepared to

tell you th bad news



wot happened to you paulo ?

thought you ducked to newsagent for

net access

"shit a thermostat"
"and top hose on th radiator"

"in th falcon"

all good now ?

"they gave me th wrong hose so i cut and shut"
"and we put new one on tomorrow"

cool as



i pay fr not tellin you


"pack me a bong dear"

nicole kidman and some guy
'come what may'

happy birthday ( and shit )


i ran to supercheap

much as i hate th place

and yes

they did ****up my order

is th closest car spares joint


made it with

minutes to spare and
little brother pulled it apart while i

land rovered to supercheap


paulo hopes yur
weekend goes off as planned

i'm not as
happy for ya

jeannette whinging

take care little one

johnny howard on th telly just before

sayin how patient he was

kylie minogue

will i replace
nickie kidman with kylei ?


something i want
but cant have

that keeps me single


dom's back in town paulie
"cums back tomorrow"

invited me to his latest gig


now i'm gunna be screwed up again


i'm not a girl

i think


twin brother of mine
that shares my head

help me


he's ****ed off

fillin th hashpipe

scuse i


who's already built it ?



"nice try"


mythbusters last night

on th telly

she made a fire

by focusing sunlight

thru a ball

of ice

can make fire from water

hey water fire


"well at least oen way'

'i want to ride my bicycle'

it's rainin unicycle
behave yurself



already got blisters

nice ride yesterday


for every


there's an


and opposite



kuta is a cool religion


i put out fires with water

do re mi
'after the volcano'

still playin with magic

practical magic as it happens


testin theories by

is th magic still workin

did i write

somethin relevant

before th next song played

so that windows

seems intelligent


i'm developing a psychic way
to find





i wanna talk about it kuta


"ya cant babe"



i found a secret


while we explain that explosion - lyric


"u stay out of it windows"

'it's more fun to compute'

cop this turing


i could write a program that

spits words


and self inserts them into notepad

but i liek music and

works with everything


i'm gettin positives on this thing paulo
it's ****in hideous

"there's a BAD side to everything dear"




wont it have peaceful purposes ?

"let it go"



ok man
ya said

it aint england

not if ya follow th back trail

"england didnt make a thumper motorcycle"
"for th bush"

a trail bike

"how th xt is described"

but i got th date

june 17 liek six months ago

"and held it"

"i rode bikes for fifteen years dear"

'something in the way'


carvin up th road


last thing i rode was a yamaha too

mik's custom


"gotta be five years"


top song in th list
in media player

right now is

god put a smile upon your face

well little brother did

gave it welly
goin round ht block and

no probs

th yopung nephew
nto seen me or

little brother

his dad

hoonin on motorbikes

we owned a coupel together and

a coupel sidecars together and

used to dirt bike together

in th bush

back of th farm

yur grandad

hadnt ridden in a whiel and

huge crash

on is first ride in years

arlo guthrie
'i'm goin home'

should go visit rohan

and ask for a spin


"u not ready for a superbike"

is th 1300 runnin ?



the motorcycle song is better arlo
"of a theme"


th girl next door

never seen me on a biek before

i pull in th drive and

no way man

i got two in th back yard

didnt own a car for fifteen years

got two at th moment

carryin unicycles ya see


"mad mountain unicycle"


do i wanna **** my back and

ride another sidecar

"put on leading link front end"

"like power steering"


chick at supercheap

had coolin problems too

just other day

shit a water pump

the verve
'space and time'

multiple redundant components

th rocket HAS to fire


i can see th
water injector

and hydrgen burning with oxygen

to fire it but

paulo thinks

bubbly water is

with CO2

not with oxygen

i dont get it

"i smell hydrocarbons"


how can ya smell hydrocarbons
when ya sniffin around in th future


i dont get it paulo


real premonitions

come 100%


for every action
there's an equal and opposite reaction


i say
paul mc cartney gunna die ina newsgroup

on a certain date

****in dateline

one day out

"watched th wrong news"


he gets up and

says he havin new life

gunna have another kid



penn and teller paulo

i did have

psychic blog dummy spit


hearin of

and watchin



last week




he just not

smart enough to understand

action reaction


violent femmes
'old mother reagan'

reagan was a cunt

'not many'(remix)

can i go after em ?

"wot, penn and teller ?"

sceptics in general

"why ?"

rather point th bone of death at em

than claim their

psychic prize

"dont liek their rules hey ?"

dont liek any rules

i break rules of universe

i'm psychic
dont need to prove to

****head sceptic

just want sceptic




if i was after money
i woulda fronted dom and his ilk

for cash
for singin

on street corners
in th fortitude valley and surfers paradise

i dont
not even for a fitty i've seen thrown in th hat


in th city th other night
on th unicycle

a guy
tryin to stop me on th unicycle

he wants a trick
offerin me twenty dollars to stop

he was so sure of imself
that i would stop

didnt but

'bastard son'

i ask you young man

if rock n roll george

would of stopped


rock n roll paulo

barely blinked


i wanna message im black



i enjoyed his birthday party

"i was there"



i got drugs and

six bourbons inside me and

i'm not here for you cunt


nother bod
wanted to know

where i bought my

shark fin
wizard hat


he didnt get any answer

at all


had like
i dunno

ten maybe

ppl call me

the man

th othe rnight

made ht msitake of

extreme unicyclin inth city and

didnt take any music

mp3 player sittin on my bed at home



for a saturday night

the offspring

i rode in th city and

didn go to th fortitude valley

its a first paulie
"who's cumin hoem this week?"

"where ya sing with dom"

in th city
edward street

"<<<smile >>>"

"if i check back in diary"
"dont find city ride after midnight"
"in several years"

"if in town"

cause i'd land in th valley and

sing there right ?




very happy to hear yur home dude

cant wait to sing with ya


"jenny not been singin much lately"

tenacious d
'city hall'


fined me for

ridin a ****in girls bike

a bicycle

****in safety bicycles

****in safety bicycles

****in safety bicycles

safety will not take us to th stars

work place health and safety have


to do with

exiting planet earth


settin ****in fires - lyric


"why ya not been singin hey"

fined ya bit over two weeks ago

still seething

"it's raining"

<<<smiel >>>


"gift's firing nicely"


had th money
to fix th car

it boiled
drivin form woolies to home


hey paulo

guess where it died ?

"in th driveway"


chrissie just messaged

"one of th kuta lady's"


she got magic man

"dont message er straight back"



noticed i been missin have ya ?


she's too old
she doesnt fill th prophecy


"paulo's got his eyes closed dear"
"had other concerns"


or put simply

th unicycle

"and motorcycles"

cum before you


yr so shitty at er

"she's just you8ng"

leave th ****in mistake
what did ya teach me >?




does she know about jeannette ?


paulo dont be a cunt

does she know i'm pregnant ?

blue oyster cult
'dont fear the reaper'

"opposites ya dead cunt"


"and it's we're pregnant identical sister"


"i dunno"
she does


she thinks jennifer th mother


"i dont see that"


"why would i leave my daughter"
"with a woman i cant sit in th same room with?"

u left yur son with one


"she doesnt see it that way"
she's an idiot

"true but **** is she magic or what"


yur mother could feel me
when i came

specially if i was
wasnt thinkin about her

th phone would ring or

more likely she'd just

walk thru th door



it affected her physically
she tryin to have an illicit affair and
her boyfriend

masturbating and she

drippin on kitchen floor

talkin to husband at table

five kilometres away

bothered th **** out of her paulie

'pennyroyal tea'

and lyin
when ya cum over and

yr marriage all finished
lyin to a psychic


i could feel you cum too ya dumb bitch


was extra hard when

we broke up

dont mind my exes ****in liek rabbits

expect it

had moren fifty after all

do mind feelin em cum

th bitch is at it again


sendin on our personal mode and

all hate


i dont feel you cum anymore elizabeth


you aint gettin any good sex or

our bond has dissolved enough

i'm free again


look dude
if i'd slept with ya

you;d have th wizard's curse
and by th fourth relationship with me you;d

be really cut


morticia still rings


mellow out kuta lady


"she wants to talk"


i dont


"may i ask ?"


it's a boy

"be truthful"

two boys


tenacious d
'kyle quit the band'

yeah penn and teller

psychic is pure



"th sceptic say"

"you just put song titles in narrative"


what are we gunna do with all th cash, smoke hash- lyric


<<<smiel >>>

yeah i can

do low level system programming in windows

'stay away'

it's turgid


my point was

i smoke drugs and

my memory is crap

i couldnt think of th ****in song titles if i tried


for every action
there's an equal and opposite reaction


i remember th past
about as good as i remember th future

fairly badly
and occasionally

somethin really clear


why i'm a background singer

i sing notes more than



sang with
jess's guitar th other week

"jess playin it dear"
i stand corrected

lovely noises

"but he plays in th fortitude valley and"

he's started singing

quiet but he's singing

the velvet underground and nico
'venus in furs'

how long jess been playin street corners now paulo ?

"he done his apprenticeship"

mika was kickin
i sing to jess now

same as


oh um

i saw um

**** man

wot's yur ****in name ?



thanks paulo

"yur welcome"

i saw dan
in a car
last week

lovely finger work

"**** that sis"
"he got a great voice"


just noticed

somethin stupid

was next track after this one

but um

we started this page on a nickie kidman song and

i dunno

you got enough magic to ?

pop up again

befor ei get sick of writing

or it end sitself

sems to write itselg



"i'm bettin we'll see another kylei track"

'blues revenge'

we just got a letter, wonder who it's from, BOOM -lyric

the black eyed peas
'fly away'

<<<smiel >>>


"and it wasnt a letter"

she didnt give that interview

according to media watch last night

they bastards hey kylie


a whale

swam into

broadwater yesterday

down surfers paradise way


"twice now"


seem liek response to whaling vote yesterday ?


"was a big bugger"


not much room in th channel for a

big whale


we got flash mr whale

of problem in whales world

when we wrote page called 'space shark'

a week ago

as usual
i get news

a week in advance
just cryptic is all


sharks very ****in happy




look man


scus ei


i'm puttin this on you paulo

you said

to me

not on net

in private diary

whales have to make
an effort to


"i wrote also"

"we all get big surprise when big SHARK"

"come out of deeps"

psychic blog kickin

in psychic blog

shark and dolphin

same as

dog cat


need each other

for evolution

city high

**** th sharks are amused

were skiting in my psychic blog

a week ago


paulo had this

hundred foot shark
with fifteen feet wide jaws

flyin thru space with him
as a pilot

not takin ****in whales
too hard to look after

cause they breathe air
and have to surface

th big shark
doesnt have to



i'll need much proof mr whale

from you and yur brethren

sharks i'm comfortable with

i understand i'm supposed to be


the offspring
'walla walla'

i expect as much proof from you
as i expect from me

my magic has to
constantly display itself

to me


i am never satisfied


the offsproing hey
i promised

in this psychic blog

last week

i'd drop whales and sharks

on same ocean world

yr whole chain as i recall

includes blue whales and pilot whales and such

until we came along

humanity that is

th sharks and th whales

were about even


i mean
th orca is a shark

'violently happy'

but it's gotta surface
and we sit

and wait


to shoot it

funny hting is

always two ways to do things

shoot it with a camera
shoot it with a harpoon


kangaroos in australia
if we didnt cull

we couldnt farm




outnumber ppl
in australia



so we're in two minds black
how unusual


a staff member
in th restaurant i ran

asked me
how can ya think of

seven things at once


"i wonder"


if we're gunna

start killin whales again

we gotta open sharks back up to

bein hunted

fair's fair

machine gun fellatio
'my ex-girlfriends boyfriends got a band'

"u gone dolphin on em jenny ?"

my bath towel does have ten dolphins on it paulo


oh and he does have a band

he's in a new one


"purples boyfriend"


they;re married


i want more proof mr whale

if you wanna be considered


****in prove it


me and paulo considerin
for awek or more

wot we gunna call sentient when we rock up

rape other planets

'on a plain'

on a rocket i think

"on an alluvial plain"

"full of critters"


<<< smile >>>




"which one ?"

penn and teller


where do we draw th ****ing line ?


wot is a sentient being
and wot is food


if we use
water fire

to go to th stars
find other blue planets like gems and

we kill

many many many species


"and if we dont ?"

we starve in our agar dish and


'drops of jupiter'



wanna stay in a hotel

floatin in space

with th best view of


and **** something that's not blonde



dear and gentle reader

so ya beat up parrots

who ****in cares

indoor budge hunting is a lifestyle

not a hobbie

do we consider

windows to be sentient

cause in this conversation with windows

[windows media player playin random music in th background]

window seems to be makin intelligent



hey mr turing

my computer

can talk like a human

just in song titles generally

dont mean it;s got any brains at all
if wot it's talkin to is


'come as you are'

i train my gift

and it looks after me


i usually

pn;y have two drinks if i'm
gunna drive thru a

random breath testing station

th one time i dont

i drnak like nine

way over and

they parked me and forgot me and

drove all th gear away before

realisin th kadaitcha man is still

parked in front of all th police cars
with an alien skull

in th back window

th car half full of unicycles

gave me my license back and

sent me on my way


funny cops


i had a self clearance certificate

yes officer
i ahve chanegd ht tyre on my truck


havent really
it;s parked aroudn th corner

came into th pigshop

on a unicycle


young cop gets smartarse

says i need th vehicle

so he can inspect it

form says clearly
something contrary

he goes asking other cops

rings town

for confrimation and

finalyl gets thru and

all th power goes out

in th pigshop

poor police station

all th computers go belly up

all unsaved work goes

down gurgler

hard not to crack a smiel

there at th counter

stare at my unicycle
parked outside door and

never judge a book by it;s cover

"ya pig cunt"


got th last laugh in that encounter


singin with some guy
in queen street mall and i

went over th edge

jenny in me

grabbed th main trace and

sing so high

a guy walks up
puts a handfull of marijuana in my hand and

here have this man
good heads too

half a fistfull

got no baggie and

he wont take it back

no way

ok alright

you smoek dude ?

ah cool

all mine then

gota make trip to car

put it in a baggie and

drink my last bourbon and

i come back ok

kevin bloody wilson
'i gave up wanking'

yeah right

aussie larriken kev


jump on unciycle and
happy as

crash into police car

ridin thru th bus stops

he stationary

jsut parked at kerb

nabs me and

dragged into copshop

which is

right htere

know what i mean

we outside police beat in city

i got old motrocycle helmet on
from when iw as

vice president of motorcycle club

helmets got

huge dop leaf on side and

donald duck catchin lightning bolt

mushies drawn in lid and

nasty words

one percenter lid

they read my record
they look at lid

but never search me

dont charge me

hey i;'m th town clown

i jump back on uni and

tool bakc to car

nice adventure

another thing to
writ ein my diary that

nobody coudl possibly believe

"cept me"

'all the things you said'

as mcuh as i dislike
country and western

i respect music


and ya come from twenty k's down th road

if i cant have er
this go around

i can be happy for you


"i thought you never gunna"

i changed my mind

the black eyed peas
'hey mama'

hey look windows is psychic

it read my mind


we gotta birth jeannette


said andrews name at conception

i parent backwards


raised teenagers first

huge party house

then later in life

i raised early teens

and then andrew from birth

"from a bit before"

"you gave me hard time young man"

"not as fussy as yur little sister though"


ya know kuta lady's th
strongest witch we know current

kylie minogue

"i win"
more kylei songs in th computer
only three of nickie



jeannette not fussed on
actress who play witch

rather be born from real
redhead witch femjack


we got to jane too late

we got to sabrina too late

morticia got hit up th arse with a shovel

terrified she get jeannette

"she got speyed"
"jenny bein a bitch"

"i make coffee yes"


"morticia was my girlfriend"
"jane was yours"

which actually worked
for a little while



the who
'magic bus'

"u bailin on nickie treatment"
i still think if yu read her diary
you;d read magic

'sunday bloody sunday'

"then why you rowing so hard ?"

life's long
and wot's meant to be





bloody drugs

richard e grant

on enough rope
last night

likened a diary to a third eye

and talked about truth


if ya write truth
in yur diary

ya see truth
when ya read between th lines


"congratulations on snaring a man who"

"wont be referred to as"

"mr kidman"

he already has

bitch said he was background in th orient


"now who's bein a bitch"

do re mi
'man overboard'(remix)



i'ma big enough kid
wouldnt bother me


have got a puberty blues problem that wont

go away

blue balls

every day
chin nuts


bein with a woman
i aint ****in

makes it worse
it's just a wizard's curse


yin and yang

i deserve a curse

i got a huge gift


"settle down jeannette"


little jenny squeelin

"too much red dwarf episode for my liking"


jeannette broke th laws of space and time
to bring us that

childrens picture book
how do things work

from eleven years from now


it cost me some
considerable energy too paulo


"i can see how th"
"rocket motor feeds itself"

"with water at"
"th right temperature and"

"it;s got bubbles in it"

'teenager of the year'

if they were handin out
teenager of th year

would they get
somethin bubbly to drink ?


yeah man
psychic is bullshit


can be seen

at least two ways


th reader of text
supplies their own inner voice

phrasing and


not to mention

outright interpretation


you can start a fire with water

ya just have to freeze it into a ball first



"last week u said"

"we make fire with frozen water"


pirate jenny
'wheel tail monkey'

i'll bet ya
it;s got somethin to do with

crystal clear ice


wahat do they call it paulo ?

leastic an ask ya in here

i nlife is




all th atoms are arranged

and aligned


if it is
co2 paulo

and not oxygen

where we get it

on shipboard

"ppl and plants"

"turn th lights off"

not grow like spack marijauana crop

over sunlighted

"does funny things to th dope"

"wot's wrong with replicating nature ?"

'nowhere man'

ya ****head

clonin yur plants and

yur marijuana is

not evolving

cant fight it's enemies


i'm coppin flack


we commiting fratricide


killin th god drug plant with

no feel whatsoever


i'm not payin th fine
ya can get ****ed

'lake of fire'

try it cunt


my twin brother and i
are mighty wizards

death dealing



"u changed yur mental signature didnt ya ?"


i surf th void with a different te now

"wot's yur latest ?"

a falcon


i want his mighty eyes in space paulie


that was wot th ****in parrot was for
on th pirate ship

his eyes


ah man

i deserve a cone


we train
bird's of prey and

we use their eyes
in space

a trained parrot on th bridge
"magpie's talk better"

yeah but i know a white cockatoo buggin it's owners
"little brother gave his away"

"i'll make some quiet enquiries"

'love in motion'(with chrissie amphlett)

where's th ship's cat

read thousands of

science fiction books

where are humanity's helpers ?


we drop into a sea

on an alien world

that we think
doesnt have a machine culture

or intelligent life

a dolphin and a shark

would be mighty fine companions


a bird that

was born in space

in freefall

used to shipboard life and

really really good eyes

better than our eyes

if we die

th bird dies



train a hunting bird

to spot planets

not everythin shows on radar and

th wise explorer

doesnt emit anything


across th universe


second from top

lost in hard drive crash

pj harvey
'send his love to me'

i send no signals into th void

entering a strange system i

creep in

liek a rat

hiding behind cover and

a bit like a terrestrial submarine

cept not quite as blind


th birds tell me
where to find land

"and fish"


life is a
constant battle of survival


our society become so soft

a vehicle that demands respect

it travels on one wheel

balanced perfectly

just forward of th centreline

is a
safety bicycle

under th transport regulations of

queensland australia


they make you
wear a helemt to
pee standing up


arlo guthrie
'highway in the wind'

first words of song are

sail with me into th unknown void that has no end


some of us will die
out there

same as

soem of us die
under a car's wheels

only a couple of weeks since
i got run over by a car

whiel ridin on one wheel

some of us
always die


entertain us
whiel we gobble up all th food

and use up th land instead of

facing facts

out ther eis unlimited


for us to plunder

down here is

arguin over price of oil

the offspring
'pretty fly'(for a white guy)

black gold


it's all bullshit right


th yanks put


up in th sky

with hydrogen and oxygen

in liquid form

city high
'you dont know me'

water is just

hydrogen and oxygen

there's gotta bee

a way
to just

crack it


"i still smell hydrocarbons"
maybe cause there none burnin in future


tell me again paulo

it gotta be

allows you to just

pick up salt water from an alien sea

and ship self sufficent in other forms of it's fuel

i see loopback tunnel in drive

drive piggy backing itself


"like a superheterodyne"

kylie minogue

dont know if i;m gunna touch that


more like a turbocharger i think


we see same image
interpret different

is it oxygen bubbles or
co2 or


i know i need more oxidiser

paulo said we wouldnt


why does he wanna put nitrogen in th mix paulo > ?

"it;d be available"


big yellow taxi

top song in list

do re mi
'track 12'

everything goes in th drive doesnt it ?

"everything burns"

i see more like steam boiler than
rocket motor

large exhaust vent terminate in
rocket exhaust


my ford falcon car makin steam this arv

tiny four k drive

boilin like crazy

butthole surfers

no man

not pepper in th radiator needed but

nice try

he busted tophose takin it off

and thermostat

solid seized


wide shut


wouldnt let any water into th radiator


just gettin hotter and hotter


hey man
my 99%

my car breaks down in my driveway
still battin a thousand


i liek to be near th coffee

so i can be mellow

whiel we

open tool cupboard and

start diagnosin with th full workshop


its wot ya do when yur magic


i figured no water gettin thru that hose too

didnt think it had a thermostat

always ran cool

violent femmes
'in bloom'

ya go liek stink
ex taxi motor

when ya run a bit hotter
got two xf falcons in th driveway



well you got a muscle car on th drive man


still raining

but gentle

is nice

we aint seen much


in one week
i had a car crash
a car ran over me on th unicycle
and th wheelbarrow i was pushin
full of cement

blew it's tyre and wheel under me

but it's all good now



'lounge act'


i was tryin to compose an sms message to chrissie


gunna keep er guessin for a bit


monoshock unicycle


just cause ya faceplanted me

'leader of men'

"oh she of th big arse"
made of metal
steel back

yur too ****in heavy


"and semi lethal"


gotta chop up a

3000 dollar bicycle

and give it a sexchange

stead of a hundred and fifty dollar one

then we got a wicked toy


"skatebowl on standby"


i aint jumpin that thing

grabbed my jeans leg and

faceplant into th bitumen


i've ridden it since

ya gotta

it;s in disgrace

sittin in th rain


too loose and
too much



"about wot i was thinkin jenny"



'chucks but beautiful slides"

'undertyred to buggery"

'still got kids bike tyre"


but we rode it thru town

test flight

thru th middle of the fortitude valley

at midnight

in reality


jumpin a gutter
on a suspension unicycle

is liek ridin out th driveway

on a stock uni


i've got more than one hobby


"i've got more than one lifestyle"


wanna go surfers paradise this weekend and play millionaire ?

violent femmes
'i held her in my arms'

i asked ya a question 009

"will th rain have left ?"

i dint catch th forecast


'no shirt"

"foot deep in th surf on a two foot unicycle"

we take th 26 inch

'low tide"
'good music"
'mp3 player"

'some drugs alcohol and"

dancin on th wheel

'surfing on th wheel"

fun either way brother

Ludwig van Beethoven
'Symphony No. 9' (Scherzo)

told ya brother

kevin bloody wilson
'arr ****'(the instrumental)

they wouldnt go with 008


"tht;s th way jen"
"cloud it with lots of crap"

'rockin rocks'

cmon paulie
i tryin to land htngs on


"like singin background hey ?"



knowin where th changes are
when even th guy playin th piece



mika was



th song of th dancing changes


jess and i one night

both floored

twenty changes in a row and

he and i both

fell off

**** im

thats enough

i was

it;s too pretty

i'm gunna shit in it


th trio vibe fell off and

we lost balance

machine gun fellatio
'all of them ladies'

<<<smiel >>>


ok i had an audience

girls and a guy

on th bus seat opposite

and walkin crwod



he was pullin changes out of is arse

and we

complimenting them

landing our changes in

harmonies and
th odd dischord

acapella drum
and note beats

with a little repetition

old drummers trick
i ****ed up

i'll just

do it again and

then wander somewhere else


ah man dom
**** it;s good to hear form you

nah leave ht spellin mistake

ya sent me a form text ya cunt


"but he's forgiven you"


those chicks man

**** she was pissed off

vanessa amorosi

ah man
i get taken more for a girl when i got a beard

than when i dont

chick last week just

amazed she couldnt find any tits

finally clocked th face and

ah well


**** th uncicyle was dancin nicely

thisn's willful


goes crazy eddie


hangs a left

whenever th **** it feels liek it

had this endo int h queen street mall

last saturday night

fine me again ya cunts

i'm ppl too

ncie lady concerned for my health

i was umm

all part of th fun

cant ride a unicycle without crashin

part of th fun


th crowd liek a psectacualr crash

to do it honest takes eight bourbons and four cones

i liek doin things honest

it ;s just as easy

frank black


hey that's you paulo

i'm resetting

laurie anderson
'sharkeys night'

somehow we're in

stea dof all music

th magic still works


the red hot chilli peppers
'breaking the girl'

were ya thinkin of feedin me tonight paulie ?




i'll go on strike

"it;d just give me a chance to talk"

bumped th insert button/key

switched th mute on in th mixer

all sound in th computer died



turn's it back on too

"yeah but ya gotta remember it"

dig it

david byrne
'like humans do'(radio edit)

learned how to laugh,learned how to cry-lyric


it's a neat trick

when it works

wot makes it happen ?

****ed if i know


"or care"

does yur physics allow for it ?



****in cunts


take piss out of psychic

i take piss out of you


got me agatated days beforehand
at sceptics and

was advertised in my tv guide as survivor

on tonight

not last week and

i hear little brother palyin

penn and teller


i take a look


easy star all stars

was playin and

not in my tv guide

but i caught yur show all th same




i'm not a psychic for money

i'm a psychic for scaring th living piss out of ppl

i'm a clown


i dunno penn and teller

according to th rules

i got a quarter of a million

confirmed kills

as a kadaitcha man

machine gun fellatio

us lethal kadaitcha men get

and bein mostly human
we take it out on

innocents mostly
well anyone who pisses ya off

i can kill you
and make yup the reason later

pointing th bone of death
and singin it;s instructions

can take up th whoel of th seven days

tenacious d

just one of my tribe


average australian male

i know an all white kadaithca man

he's got two confirmed kills


it's th magic of th land of oz

not th magic of th skin colour


a half dutch boy liek me
wouldnt get th powers


kuta lady is troubled by her powers
"i know"


she's impatient though

"she'll get over it"


ya cant

just point th bone and expect

yur gunna whack

fifty thousand ppl

on th first try

i mean come on

it;s magic

it doesnt cum in a pill

'feels good'

well mostly


i'm reading th future

rude of me


it's times liek these i miss my
v four motorcycle and

two hundred and something odd
kilometres an hour

centres th mind
even if it is a safety bicycle

at heart

urge overkill
'girl you'll be a woman soon'

girls bike


**** this guy was cut th other night
i'm ridin down edward street and he

not likin me callin his motorcycle a
girls bike

it ****in is


take every ounce of

th mungrel i used to be and

cop this withering stare cunt


only crazy eddie would

in th middle of a drought

with level three water restrictions

be screaming to th heavens

i got it

we gotta burn water

to get off th earth

anything is possible

i know
anything is possible


crazy eddie

[pirate jenny and "the land surfer"]

'day you come'

do re mi
'racing to zero'

just about there


****in frizz


washed my hair and

little brother still on phone

all th way thru survivor

**** man


dom's back in town

kuta lady's talkin again


i missed something

"we grabn it second pass"

smashing pumpkins

u dont publish second and third passes thru
th page anymore

"get too much information"


musta missed th pass


dropped th pumpkin


a word game
if played properly

and with truth
that will enhance your

psychic gifts


th diarisers


i did soemthing today

even if i didnt do something today

i mean really

i wasnt really on two rooves today

in th howling wind and rain


three odd thousand

pounds per square inch of water pressure

down a dirty roof

to clean it


"i did get a toecutter though"
"dropped a broken tile on my toe"

"just took th edge"

kylie minogue

otherwise she'd be fat right


stead of havin a cute bum


hate to think i
dropped a rooftile on my foot

just to have that

weak joke

such is reality


i'm obstreperous today

i wont return messages

'look what you've done'


what i dont liek about me

i'm a cunt


i dont read comment or
complaint or

give a ****


th parrot
always a

on th pirate ship captain's shoulder

sees and smells land
before man

"or woman"


but wot about if yur psychic paulo
do we need th extra

rations to feed to th pets
"u get everything right do ya ?"

psychic not omnipotent

go and get ****ed


penn and teller

robin ford
'prison of love'

more of th opposites hey


not love i'm feelin right now



out ****ing rage

it's not th same without the



ka boom and

ka ****ing boom

totally different


liek to take all th pain and suffering

my poor testicles copped

last june

whiel tryin to warn some dumb ****ers

u got a problem comin

and give it to ya in one



cricket bat in th arse

wedge end first i think


"take a fourteen pound sledge hammer to"
"bash a cricket bat up that fat cunts arse"



wot's yur point cockhead ?


"dont have one"

"it's a blunt instrument"

'purple hills'

i guess

ya take a couple of them

purple hills and

yur mind is a blunt instrument


"i dunno"
"a d12 is a bulldozer"




"****in big bulldozer"

"blunt as"


i sat there

waitin for

windows to get it's head together

it couldnt find th next song

hunting on th disk for th next track

waiting is

i'm tryin to get th name of th song

i';ve got th clue

and silence emenating from th computer

but i dont


d12 [bulldozer]


it's a blunt instrument


maybe how my mind


dirty big caterpillar

crawler tractor


black eyed peas
'my humps'

just um

bulldoze those humps over there and

set up th fatapult facing th

shark net




do re mi
'man overboard'(remix)
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