old news

The Wizard of Aus...

news





or





What fell out of my head today.




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(Short Term Memory)


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(The Australian way of life, bullshit and lies, never let the truth
and facts get in the way of telling a good story.)

(And if you believe that, I've got a bridge to sell you.)



NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE



the wizard of aus... --- Short Term Memory Storage

News Archive 19 --- November 24 2001

News Archive 18 --- November 22 2001

News Archive 17 --- November 21 2001

News Archive 16 --- November 20 2001

News Archive 15 --- November 19 2001

News Archive 14 --- November 16 2001

News Archive 13 --- November 15 2001

News Archive 12 --- November 14 2001

News Archive 11 --- November 13 2001

News Archive 10 --- November 10 2001 to November 12 2001

News Archive 9 --- November 8 2001 to November 9 2001

News Archive 8 --- November 4 2001 to November 7 2001

News Archive 7 --- November 1 2001 to November 3 2001

News Archive 6 --- October 22 2001 to October 31 2001

News Archive 5 --- October 7 2001 to October 22 2001

News Archive 4 --- September 10 2001 to October 7 2001

News Archive 3 --- August 29 2001 to September 10 2001

News Archive 2 --- July 26 2001 to August 26 2001

News Archive 1 --- June 30 2000 to July 25 2001

Home

gunna have to put the news archives in it's own page soon






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....

Blk

....

..

what's f**king this man ?

i think it's a website dude

what's a f**king website ?

where ya been man ?

f**ked if i know



but i'm back

and

i will survive...





nice f**king entrance man...

make WAY for

The Farm...

..

..

..

..

..

..







make WAY

make WAY

make WAY





Monday 26 - 11- 01



hi babe, smiles

"hi daddy", smiles back



"daddy, thank you for schoolies"



you're welcome

i enjoyed doing it

The Wizard of Aus...

is a blast to perform...



"if i didn't piss you off"

"you wouldn't have cast that binding spell on me and stopped my
traction engine"



"so i made you do a trick for the schoolies"



"and it was a doozy"

"your capper for the night..."



yeah , but i was still pissed at you cause i didn't get laid



"is that why we went to the edge of the island for the weekend"

"and you didn't even take the uni out of the car? "



something like that



"but you went to see the beautiful island girl"



the head witch dear

don't piss her off



"i wouldn't do that daddy"



..



"but you both know, you both only cum when you're making love"

"and do you have to f**k her four times before both of you decide to
make love ?"



ya gotta scratch that itch dear

and stay the f**k out of my sex life



"i would do daddy, but i'm stuck in your head"



fair enough...



+++



"what's next dad ?"

no idea

"for real ?"



well...



+++



dad ?

yeah mate

do you remember when you cast that eating spell on sabrina ?

yeah, i remember

worked well didn't it ?

yeah, she ate like a horse for a while there

why'd ya cop to it so early ?

i like her, ya idiot

can i tell her ?

she knows

dad , why would you put an eating spell on such a gorgeous woman ?

i think you just answered yourself young man

i like ya dad

thanks mate...



+++



dad ?

yeah

when you get a bike, can we do some touring ?

that's a given young fella

how long will bikes be our focus dad ?

ya know that weird pi story i was thinking about ?

yeah

if i have to buy a bike myself,

about that long...

+++



was thinking away

and started thinking about this

now

i don' know if i read it somewhere

i've read a f**k of a lot of books

so

it might not be my idea

okay

..



this guy

starts an electronic book

and he's a programmer

and after a while

he see's a pattern emerging

so he writes a program

to see the pattern in numbers

and it turns out

he's writing the number of



pi



you know 22 divided by seven



then



he gets a bright idea

and writes a backend to the program

so that

the program writes the book

ALL

by itself



and he sits on his bum

watching it run...



and cause he's looked at a few of the pages from uptime

while he's sitting on his bum



he's got a f**kin huge grin...

..

what about free will ?

f**k the whales

..

no free WILL

oh, well it would knock it into a cocked hat

interesting

very...

+++

make a good book big fella ...

write up your alley

love ya hard man...

+++



big fella feels the hits too

i'll be sittin down

doin nothin in particular

and just start giggling



and then the flavour comes

and you know which story they are reading

and we're both feeling it

very weird...



+++

people

i can't begin to tell you how weird this is getting

from our perspective at least



i think we've found something



i've always had magic



but felt i had to earn it



we built a religion



big fella said



all we need now is a miracle



and i said



leave it with me



stopped thinking about it



which is



the way



and now



i'm living a miracle



BRING IT ON...

+++



"paultje"

yes mum

"you wouldn't talk to my sister"

sorry mum, still got some issues

"it's been a long time"

mum, my time sense is all f**ked, you know that

it's not a long time to me

"forgive her paul"

okay mum...



+++

ya can't fight city hall...

+++



Robert James said to me

"The Gold Coast City Council is advertising for street entertainers"

my reply ?



f**k em

if they want me

they can come find me



besides

who wants to play by their rules ?



it wouldn't be the same...

+++

we were pretty bent one night

and this guy bopped up to me in the street

and we were talking about really big stunts

you know

like



ride around a penthouse rooftop

get picked up by a chopper

while pedaling the uni

hangin on by the crook of an arm

dropped down to the beach

still on the unicycle



have a pedal

a quick swim



chopper comes back

picks me up

while riding the uni

and we go back to the penthouse



guy goes

sounds great

but they'd never allow it



my reply ?



allow it ?

who gives a rats



it's a great stunt



after it's done

is the time to talk to em about it



not before...



now if we could just finance the

really big stuff



and pay ALL the fines of course



ah well...

time WILL tell..

+++



other thing is of course



The Wizard of Aus...



NEVER



tells you when it's gunna BE...



..



ALL



you ever get is a riddle



solve the riddle



then you're there...

where ?



out there...

+++



where's the f**kin edge man ?



if ya look up there



yeah ?



it's f**kin



out there ...

+++





hope ya liked our little party trick

for you schoolies



i said to you guys in the street



I AM A REAL WIZARD...



go f**kin HARD



..



love ya's f**kin HARD







The Wizard of Aus...

+++