How do I get my boyfriend to have a DNA test

[samantha h]

for a kid from a one-night stand?!? My boyfriend and I have been together 4 years. We have a stable relationship with no arguing - theres no jealousy or anything like that. He possibly has a daughter of 8. She is lovely and we have seen her on and off during the past 4 years.
She is the product of a one-night stand with my partner or someone else - the mother is 26 +has 6 children by different men. She prevents the men tied to her by children from having partners by stopping visitation+is annoyed it hasn't worked in our case as she wants to split us up. A DNA test was refused by the mother, who didn't even tell my partner about the kid until the kid was 3 years old. My partner is consumed with guilt about his fluctulating presence. He is scared of a DNA test incase it confirms hes a bad dad. He is desperate for the kid not to be his. We are trying for a baby + I want this sorted way before then! How can I encourage him to go for the test? w/o the mum?! He isn't even on the birth certificate! Talking isn't helping :-(

[LaLa]

He needs to go to family court to fight for visitation then he can bring up the paternity issue. I think if done that way she can't avoid it because it's court ordered.

[brog]

You can t make him do it - But my best suggestion would be to tell him to get it done and it will relieve his guilt - However if she turns out to be his he should fight for custody because it sounds like she is not in a good situation now. The decision is up to him because unless he is ordered to pay child support through the dept of revenue, he will have to pay for the test out of pocket. I think he should do it if it is bothering him that much.

[Aim]

I know you say talking isn't helping but what else is there for you to do? You can't force him to do anything.
Personally I think you all should forget about proving anything and focus on this little girl's well-being and being a consistent presence in her life. I know you (and possibly he) may feel like his ex "won" but the truth is this is not a game; a child is involved. Take her mother's soap opera BS behavior out of the equation and be the loving, secure adults she NEEDS.

[Marion]

Pray to God to open up your eyes and his eyes and let God work. You need to be very careful of what you ask for. What if he has this D/A test and it came out that it is his? How will that make you feel?If the mother is asking for child support you as a wife can have the state to test the child.But if she is not you will need to call around and see how gives paternity test. Some times the heath department do it. And as his wife. Tell him. Sweet heart go get tested then we can get the baby any time we wont the baby, because by law if he is the child father he has a Right to see the child's any time he wont too. And if the mother is not caring for the child the way she should he can even get gusty of the child. So be very careful of what you ask for.And to do if with out the mom ?just go get the child for the day and he can carry her to the your attorney and tell your attorney you need a paternity test.