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Zombi scientists have announced...

Zombi scientists have announced... - Chemistry Forum

Zombi scientists have announced... - Chemistry Forum. Discuss chemical reactions, chemistry.

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Old 07-17-2003, 07:25 PM
Mark Tarka
Posts: n/a
Default Zombi scientists have announced...

Zombi scientists, at a secret US government
lab in Area 51, longitude 97.04.22 W, latitude
39.59.47 N, have announced a failure in
their first attempt to animate a living
physicist. Attempts for a successful
event will continue, depending upon
continued funding.

On another front, space-case officials now
admit that so-called "moon rocks" in their
possession are actually pieces of green cheese
which had at one time been exposed to air.
That the moon once had an atmosphere is the
subject of several recent grant proposals by
slap-happy drones hanging around space labs.

And, finally, ending this busy news day,
President George Bush, of whom no G.I. may
speak ill (please pardon the Harvard English)
has been take to the Bethesda Naval Hospital
complaining of cramps in the descending
colon. Al Quayda, Saddam Hussinni,
Osaama Been Laiden, Martha Stewart, and
other unnamed groups and individuals have
been implicated by the White House as possible
suspects in this terrorist cramping attack.

Mark (I'd'a spelt their names right, had I the time :-)
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Old 07-25-2003, 04:02 AM
Eric Lucas
Posts: n/a
Default Zombi scientists have announced...

"Mark Tarka" <[Only registered users see links. ]> wrote in message
news:6b70c71c.0307171125.23806248@posting.google.c om...

Ooh, now you've gone and done it...I can never resist an invitation to tell
the World's Best Hahvuhd Joke.

Wide-eyed MIT Freshman to Hahvuhd upperclassman in Hahvuhd Squayuh: "I'm
trying to find the Coop. Could you be so kind as to tell me where it's at?"
Hahvuhd student, pompously: "At Hahvuhd, they teach us not to end our
sentences with prepositions."
MIT Freshman: "OK. I'm trying to find the Coop. Where's it at,

....and since you asked: the World's Second-Best Hahvuhd Joke:

A Hahvuhd med student, a BU dental student and an MIT chemistry grad student
are at a Red Sox game, and go to the bathroom. After doing their business
in the giant Fenway Troughs, the Hahvuhd med student makes a big show of
washing his hands, scrubbing very thoroughly, and says pompously, "At
Hahvuhd Med, they teach us the importance of washing our hands very
thoroughly after using the bathroom." Next, the BU dentist scrubs his hands
clean, then dries them very, very thoroughly, using several paper towels.
He says, "At BU, they teach us how we must dry our hands very carefully
after washing them." Then the MIT chemistry grad student gets done with his
business, shakes it off, zips up, dismissively wipes his hands on his pants,
and mutters "At MIT, they teach us not to piss on our hands."

My five years at The Vo-Tech At The Other End of Mass. Ave. wasn't
*entirely* wasted (although I'm certain my advisor disagrees.)

Eric Lucas

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